Inner resources: How to fill yourself up from the inside
Once as a kid I was playing in the sea on a family vacation. The waves were big. Really big. I laughed and jumped joyfully as the foaming arches danced over my head, not knowing that for every upsurge of a wave there is an accompanying undertow, a powerful counteracting force in the dance, a downward pull that answered the upward rush.
Not knowing, until I became caught up in one of the undertows of a particularly powerful wave. My startled mind panicked, able only to look on helplessly as my tiny body was thrashed about in the chaos, feeling like a little bag of loose bones being shaken violently by a force oh so much more powerful than me.
The experience lasted only a few seconds, and it was not long before my little head had broken the surface of the water, gratefully breathing in gasps of air, and my tiny feet were planted firmly back on the sandy shore. But, man, it was scary. I felt completely out of control, utterly at the mercy of something far greater than me.
There are times in life when the way I feel reminds me of the moments I was caught up in the current of that wave. Can you relate? Times when the very foundations of everything I know seem to crack, my entire world becomes unhinged and I feel just like I did then, astonished and startled, thrashed about in the chaos of wild and mysterious forces that I cannot control.
Yet I have learned that there are ways, even during these violent times, to feel anchored and strong, to feel that I do still, nonetheless, have my feet planted firmly on that sandy shore.
And the best thing is, the ways of experiencing this comfort and support already exist inside of us.
We can call them our inner resources. They are aspects of our being and our psyche that hold us firmly from the inside at all times, helping us feel strong and whole even when everything outside of us seems frightening and out of control.
I recognise references to our inner resources in many teachings across different cultures and times. In yoga, we often bow the head to the heart’s authority and listen for its guidance. Jungian psychoanalyst and storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estés, an expert in the archetypes found in stories and legends from across humanity, writes of Wild Woman, the powerful force within us who can hold us in our toughest and darkest moments, imbuing us with her power, rocking us and whispering gently that This, too, shall pass.
These parts of us are always there, nestled deep within. The trick is to learn how to access them. There are certain activities and practices that represent a kind of gateway, or key to unlocking our inner strength. They are different for different people, but I have noticed that common elements are that they are things that relax us while switching us “on” rather than switching us “off”.
Do you know what I mean by this last distinction?
Activities that switch me “off” are things like watching TV, playing computer games, or even reading a novel whose storyline grips me. They are activities that are relaxing because they allow me to escape, to check out of my inner world completely and enter another.
I do not criticise these activities. I believe they have their place. Sometimes we need to do things that require no presence at all. It is another kind of restoration.
Yet, the things that give me access to my inner resources are things that switch me “on”, and activate my connection to my inner world. Here are some examples:
Walking in nature
Singing and toning
Improv dance
Breathwork
Reading poetry that mirrors my emotions and experiences
Writing in my journal
Playing any kind of music, especially in nature
As I engage in these practices, I feel filled up from the inside as me, myself and I fall into happy alignment. I feel a deep connection down to the very core of my being. I feel strong and unshakeable, even at the most challenging times. I feel a deep joy and gratitude for all that I experience in this world.
I feel that, no matter what, a part of me always has her face turned blissfully towards the sun, her feet rooted securely on that sandy shore.
What are the ways that you access your inner resources? Leave a comment or write me a message to kim@kimgajraj.com. Although I have limited time to respond to all the emails I receive, I am committed to reading each and every one.
Much love <3